Alright, the Saturdays are getting warmer, so make sure to begin your treks to Broadway to take in on the heavily sweaty fun.  So, for your information, I provide you with the following:

GUIDELINES FOR DOWNTOWN AFTER DINNER ENTERTAINERS
1. If an entertainer is interested in performing for Downtown After Dinner they can submit tapes or CDs to Paducah Main Street, Inc. Attention: David Boggs, 321 Broadway, Paducah, KY 42001. Phone contacts: David: office: (270) 444-8649 or cell (270)559-7330
2. The Event Coordinator & selection committee will make the decision as to if, when and where the entertainers will perform. Entertainers are to meet the Event Coordinator at the Gazebo (corner of 2nd & Broadway) between 5:30 & 6:00 pm on the Saturday evening that they are scheduled to perform, at this point the Event Coordinator will let you know your performance location. NEVER SHOW UP WITHOUT PERMISSION FROM THE EVENT COORDINATOR!
3. Entertainers are to set up equipment between 6:00 – 7:00 pm on Saturday being ready to perform by 7:00 pm. The hours of After Dinner are 7 – 10 pm. The streets are reopened to traffic by 10:15 pm. The entertainers need to unload their equipment at the appointed location, go park their vehicle OFF Broadway, then come back to complete setting up. If you arrive at 6 pm and follow the above instructions you will find a parking place close to your performance area. There is a city ordinance and signs on Broadway stating, “No Parking between 6 – 10 pm May – Oct.” The police will enforce this law with ticketing and towing.
4. After equipment is set up the entertainer MUST move their vehicle off Broadway.
5. Power is available if needed; however entertainers must have their own equipment, duct tape and extension cords. The law requires a 14 ft. fire lane open on one side of the street and the entertainers’ equipment cannot be past the center white line of the street.
6. Entertainers must be aware and courteous in the volume of their music. At times there are two groups of entertainers in the same block and there is not to be competition in drowning out the other entertainers. Also there are some businesses open and if music is too loud it is annoying to shop owners and their customers.
7. The Event Coordinator will be monitoring sound volumes throughout the evening. You may be asked to raise or lower your volume setting. Please keep those settings the rest of the night.
8. Any needs or problems are to be handled by Event Coordinator or Police. Please cooperate with these individuals and the Downtown After Dinner guidelines.
9. Entertainers that have committed to perform on a stated date must show up or give Event Coordinator notice ahead of time. If a performer fails to show up without advance notice twice they may not be allowed to perform for the rest of the season.
10. If the weather forecast is for rain we ask that you do not cancel your performance until 4 pm of later. We have seen rainy days turn into great nights.
THANKS for being a part of our Downtown After Dinner program and if I can be of assistance do not hesitate to call me. Don’t to forget to put out a container for “TIPS” while you are performing.
David Boggs
Downtown After Dinner Event Coordinator
270-444-8649 or 270-559-7330
Email: david@paducahmainstreet.com

I liked that blog title.  It’s like freshman year in college.  Without the kegs.  Well, okay, maybe a few kegs.

Well, okay, yes, many kegs.  But let’s move on.

First, you listen to music.  Probably everyday.  You may not own cds (especially in todays download/ipod world) but you most likely listen to something in your car if nothing else.  Unless you’re completely non-lingo-savvy, you know what musical genres are.  You can tell the difference between metal and pop, though you may not know the difference between death metal or grind metal.  Don’t feel bad, neither do I.

But you do listen.  If this is the extent of your musical taste, then you are a Radio Rocker.  Whatever is on your Top 40 or Oldies station is what you hear and what you know.  That’s okay.  Nothing in the world wrong with it.  But, there’s a lot more going on in music than Britney’s tragedies or the top 10 countdown.

Local music is what we’re concerned with.  You may not know what local, or “underground,” music is.  It is loosely defined but can include anything from the grandfather with a guitar on his front porch, the garage rocking high-schoolers, a church-hoping choir, or the local bar scene cover band.  Paducah’s rich cultural music scene enjoys a wealth of all of these performers.

It is impossible to know every musician in Paducah, as many play at home and for themselves and never perform to a crowd.  Family members may know they play, but that might be the extent of their public performance persona.  The other types, however, are quite easy to track, and its time to introduce you to them.

First, we’ll touch on what we called earlier the “church-hoping choir.”  Not the best name, but descriptive.  Paducah has a rich theological community and numerous performing acts, some choral in nature and some more modern, that perform at numerous churches and festivals.  Some of the more well known inspirational acts of Paducah include the Home Again Gospel Singers, a very talented group of older gents (mostly) who perform on a wide array of instruments such as Guitar, Banjo, Mandolin, and more.  These types of gospel performing acts usually showcase a predominant reliance on these types of stringed instruments and also piano or keyboard-esque instruments, as they are the instruments that have been used in our area’s gospel history.  However, Paducah also features modern gospel performers who perform hits reminiscent of your Top 40, the most famous being the Paducah native Steven Curtis Chapman, the greatest selling modern Christian artist in the world.  Not bad, eh?  Your best bet for finding out about concerts and performances are by visiting local churches and checking their event calendars.  You can also check out the West Kentucky Gospel Music Association.

Then, if you’re a party-goer or bar visiting patron then you may be aware of the Cover Band.  A “cover band” is a band that performs songs made famous by another artist.  These bands perform at local bars and parties performing hits that you may recognize from the radio (each band has a different genre/year range they specialize in).  This is what is loosely known in Paducah as the Silver Saddle Circuit, made famous by our Silver Saddle Nightclub (formerly the Silver Saddle Saloon) within the Executive Inn Riverfront.  Every weekend a band performs in the saddle and those same bands can usually be found in other local bars or nightclubs on the weekends they aren’t performing there.  Paducah has a very large populace of Southern Rock/Country Music Cover Bands, the most notable regional acts being the David Ivey Band and Sidewinder.  These types of musicians are great for local nightclub/bar owners to be able to provide live music to their patrons and the patrons actually know the songs that are playing for a much more reasonable price then it would be to get the original acts that made the songs famous.

Some of these bands also perform original songs in-between their other songs.  Original songs are tracks that the band has wrote themselves and you may not know.  Eventually, if their songs are liked and they wish to pursue the career, these bands may decide to exclusively perform their own tracks .

Now, the all-originals.  These range from your high school rocker to the everyman with something to say.  Anyone and anybody can fit into this category.  This is were people like me work.  Local Bands are acts that write and practice and perform all their own music (though they may cover a song from time to time for fun).  Most of their songs you may not know, but people who have been listening to the band for a while may know them better than top 40s and sing along.  Some of these acts tour around the country or world on their own dime to spread their music and enjoy performing.

You may of heard of a “show” going on in town before.  This is your best place to find one of these acts.  A “show” is a small concert, usually held in rented places such as Paducah’s Knights of Columbus hall or VFW Hall.  A local band may put the show on themselves or a booking agent (such as us here at HB&P) may host the event.  A handful of local bands, usually of similar musical genre taste, perform one-after-the-other for local individuals.  Admission is usually just a few bucks to pay the bills and concert-goers can purchase merchandise, such as cds, shirts, or stickers, of any bands they like that they listen to.  This is usually how any band you hear on the radio got its start (except for those corporate-made fakes, but that’s another blog/rant for another time…).

Paducah is blessed with a vast array of music in this area.  Some of it is wrongly labeled “teen angst” music, because of every generations different taste of music and the evolution of music itself.  However, some of the lesser-special of the music is teen angst music.  For more on that, see “grind,” “hardcore,” or “grindcore.”  You’re gonna have that in any place with any generation, its just part of it.  Some of it may be slightly entertaining, but it is rarely deep or special.  Outside of that small bit though, Paducah has some very special music.

In the past few years, Paducah has started to get international recognition (on the “underground circuit”, kind of word-of-mouth thru tours and concert-goers from city to city) for the Paducah Punk Movement.  This is because of the “holy trinity” of Paducah Punk Rock groups that have made some of the best punk rock music since the Ramones hit the scene.  (They were kind of a big deal back in the day…).  This trinity consists of Teenage Rehab, who have been doing what they do best for many years now and have toured all over the country side spreading their music; Middle Class Trash, sometimes shadowed by the other members of the trinity but always consistent and talented in their performance; and The Wish You Weres.  If one band in the world had the charisma, persona, musical ability, and something to say that could re-awaken real punk music and piss off The Man everywhere, its these boys.  If one band from Paducah had the chance to be heard on your top 40 radio station in your car tomorrow, it’s the Wish You Weres.

Then we've been blessed with a rich history of Blues, Soul, and Jazz music.  With greats such as ole Lew Jetton & 61 South who have performed with more greats than a nun in a whorehouse, and late performers such as Boots, Paducah's stance in Blues and Jazz history has long been affirmed.

Paducah also boasts, not surprisingly for its regional position on the map, some very talented vocal singers and songwriters who perform Country, Indie, or general Acoustic music.  Just a few of these highly talented individuals include regional colgate American idol Devin Cates with a voice of gold, singer and heartbreaker Tabitha of Southern FRY’D who can “Reba up” any party, and beautiful Kelsey Waldon.  Ms. Waldon recently moved to central Tennessee to pursue her musical career, and the future looks bright for her (and she’s definitely wearing some cool shades).

If you wanted to learn more about local artists who perform their own music, there are a million options you could use.  If you’re reading this, you’re already familiar with the internet, and us here at HB&P!  We’re just one way to learn more about these artists.  Many local musicians in this internet age use sites such as MySpace.com to promote and sample out their music to local individuals.  If you’re out and about around town, check out local places that host performances.  These include coffee houses such as Etcetera in Lowertown, performance halls such as those mentioned earlier like the Knights hall on Jefferson, the Wilson stage downtown, and the Texaco-turned-info center in Lowertown.

Of course, during the warmer months (yes, we will get thru this cold eventually) you can take a stroll down Broadway on a Saturday night and hear a little of all the genres.  Plus, associating with musicians makes you cuter to the ladies.  And being a musician, well……its amazing.  Its actually all that saved my ugly geeky self enough to get one.  So do it, enjoy it, and don’t look back.

So when you see the array of gents at your church with stringed monstrocities, or the kid with multi-colored oddly shaped hair, or hear a soft voice in the background, take a moment to listen closer.  Paducah has been known for its art, but art isn’t just about painting.  Where some artists paint there masterpieces on canvas, others paint on silence.

Love, Later

-Hooper

It's getting closer to that time for my daughter's first christmas.  The one where I'll wake up at 4AM to rush her off to the Granny stockpile of food and presents possibly more for myself than for her, since she won't remember.  But its still important.

It's really hard actually.  My niece knows there is no Santa (My sister and brother-in-law adamantly told her there wasn't one.  There is this large community of parent's who refuse to teach the Santa for numerous reasons we won't go into here), so I'll have to make sure she doesn't slip up and tell my daughter once she starts to understand engrish.

But, why should I have to?  Someone said earlier because Santa isn't real.  What a fucking tool that guy is.

Santa is more real than the corporate use to sell Christmas and arguably as real as the holy f'n trinity.

Don't you dare tell me there isn't any Santa.  Because once you decide to stop believing.  Once you give in and you accept some silly fact like "There is no Santa", then you have to sit down and accept this whole bloddy world for exactly what it is.

I for one, refuse to accept this world as it is.  So while you march along telling me that teaching my child that believing in Santa Claus is lying to her, her & I will be chillin with Santa and Nessie and the Abominable Snowman trying to figure out where the ark rests.

A child needs something to believe in.  Sometimes it doesn't matter if its true or not, as long its something.  Something that can't be proven or disproven.  Something that lets them know that the world isn't always what it seems, and we don't know everything like we pretend to.

I think believing in Santa, contrary to popular belief, helps prepare a child for the world.  For the times when you're disproven.  For the times when you find out you didn't know jack shit.  For the times when you need a little faith in something to help you get thru.

Thats why it isn't important that Jesus didn't do what most modern christians said he did.  It isn't important at all.  What is important, is that they believe in it.

Thats why Katherine will grow up knowing that Santa is more real than most common concepts.  That giving and loving and caring and laughing are real.  She'll know that if shes ever having a bad day that Heironious is there for her.  That the deep waters of the lake might be scary because Nessie gets hungry.

She'll keep two coins for the boatman on her.  She'll accept the world by denying it.  By refusing to define it.

When the day comes that modern man has "figured it all out" and there are no more mysteries....I, for one, don't want to be around.  Life without mystery and faith and belief is worse than a lie.

Santa Claus is real.  Just ask Virginia.  (But not West Virginia, those blue people there are a bit odd....)

Love, Later

-Hooper

...and I realize I'm not entirely certain about how to spell the word 'beginning'.  I'm gonna go with the later there with two Ns.

So, I've gotten alot of awards in my life.

Everything from pieces of paper that say I study theology too much,
paper that thanks me for community service, Eagle Scout award, paper
that says I did good as a camp counseler, certificates of Duke and Colonel
titles in Paducah and Kentucky, and even pine wood derby trophys.

However, today I received what could be the most prestigious award in the history of prestigious awards....

I know, I know.  I'd like to thank my parents, and the fans for making all this possible.  God, who helped me find courage.  My producer Fresh T, manager Arnie C, and the boys Cool D, Reezy, and Shorty.  We made it boys we in the big house HOLLA!

Love, Later

-Hooper

It's 2:00AM and time to rant.

Okay, decent day at work.  The bosses even bought lunch.  All is good.  I get off, change, clean up, head to the Executive Inn to shower and such.  All is fun.  For those who don't know, I used to work as the head of marketing, advertising, promotion, and entertainment at the E for a short time (under a great boss who moved to the same company I'm at now.)

So, the show is going good.  Great crowd, great cause.  Like any big show, we run over a bit.  The Wish You Weres are postponed a bit and by the time they play the E is already ready for the show to be done.  Just like at Paducahpalooza, one small thing steamrolls and the guys try to shut down the show.

I spend a minute cussing out the new head of Sales of the E (I also called her on her bullshit when she said that the E gave the radio station the room for free...Singh doesn't give up shit for free, chincy bastard) I follow in behind her and make sure the power doesn't get cut.  The lights do, but the boys say fuck it and keep playing anyways.  A few songs later and we start wrapping up. 

The new GM (lingo for homeless guy who lives at the hotel) comes in and threatens to have us escorted by police out, I tell him he's full of shit, we have all the right to get our stuff and casually head out, and he gets pissed and walks off cause I'm right.

A few minutes of talking, letting the remaining radio station personnel know that they did an excellent job and we love them, and that we know it was all the E and not them.  GO WITHER'S!

I head out a back way and it just happens to be where the GM, new heads of sales and marketing are talking.  They corner me and start harrassing me and we go through another few minutes of cussing each other out.  I call the lady out again on her bullshit about free, and tell her about the "holdover" and "takedown" time allotments.  I also tell them everyone IS leaving, just like they want, and that they yelling at me is just postponing my departure.

We yell for a moment, and I say my last and proud statement "Remind the Hydra to eat you first."

I get in the van (which has an opened 12 pack but NO open containers.  I had brought my own beer because I know they overcharge, but had long sense stopped drinking.  Well, apparently the guy had called cops to just make sure everyone left okay, and one happened to see me blow a stop sign (I did slow down, just not fully, at the stop sign that is oddly alligned at the floodwall gates coming out of the E).

He pulls me over.  Here is a bad toothed guy in a shitty van with beer in his vehicle coming from a rock show.  Just this thursday, I had grabbed all my insurance info out of the van because I was adding a new vehicle to our policy, and I hadn't replaced it yet.  So I pass the not-drunk test with flying colors, give him my license and apologize for not having my insurance.  He leaves to research.

As always, another member of the flock pulls over to feel important and asks me all the same questions again.  I go into more detail admitting that I probably did run too fast past the sign, because I was pissed about the E, and I tell him what happened.  He agrees the E is shit, and I'm thankful for that.

Now, a few years ago I drove a Hearse.  The only insurance I could find for the hearse was commercial, so I got it.  I got pulled over one night and guess what...since it wasn't being used for commercial uses, it didn't count and I need residental.  But I didn't get a warning, I got a driving without insurance citation and of course that pops up in my history for this guy.

I explain all that, and give the guy explicit details about my current insurance: family plan/bradshaw & weil on broadway/normally we go thru the agent Kelly but she left a few months ago our new girls name starts with a C/around 150 a month for all vehicles.  Thankfully its enough for him to just give me a 'failure to produce proof' charge that I can drop by taking the card in this week.  Pay the stop sign fee and I'm off.

In all of this, I'd like to announce the rules of Paducahpalooza 3:

-The Wish You Weres get to play as long as they want (they have to play, its a law, no not playing at it boys, we win)

-There are no "don't mosh/dive" etc. rules, only one rule: If someone doesn't want to mosh/dive/etc., don't force them.  We all enjoy listening in different ways.  We'll designate a moshing ring or something so those who don't want to mosh can stand outside it.  Divers just don't get in the musicians ways.  Oh, and on that off chance you do get hurt, don't sue.   If you do feel the need to sue, only use the law offices of Michael B. Hubbard.

In short: great job by all the folks from Wither's Broadcasting (106.7/105.5), especially Christie, for all the hard work they put into the show.  IT WAS A GREAT SHOW!  Thoughts to Biggie, keep strong.  Great performances by all the bands, great work by RobWave Music and there employees.  However, horrible job to the Executive Inn Riverfront.  Its sickening to ever have claimed to work for you.

But I got a master key bitches........

Love, Later

-Hooper

So, the festivites have begun, and I spent my evening last night adding Katherine's first christmas tree to our living room.  Right in front of the fireplace and mantle.  If it gets any more Hallmark than that, I'd like to know how.

I've always used a fake tree.  Let the real trees live, and I can use it over and over and over (though the box gets worse every year).  However, this year, on honor of baby's first christmas, it was a new tree, and let me just say this: If you file your fake branches in an alphabetical manner, then make sure the tree goes together in same manner.  There is no good reason for K to go before G and after L.  Bastards.

Anyways, a good evening of decorating and wrapping and the Hooper House D&Dungeon is transformed into Santa's shed.  (Don't sweat it my fellow D&D compatrons, the extra-roomy Nursery will be the temporary D&Dungeon, I think its a fitting way to christen the baby into dorkyness).

Then come tomorrow, you, your loved on, your mom, and your stalker better be down at the big E (Yeah, I'm gonna enjoy this one,.....hey ole' buddy Singh...) for Billy Biggle's Benefit Concert.  All profits go to him, and there are some great bands playing.  Except the Wish You Weres, god those guys suck.  (Disclaimer: The Wish You Weres DO NOT Suck) (Disclaimer Disclaimer: Maybe they do in a sexual sense, but I don't wanna know about that)

After that, a good Sunday off for some D&D (it's dynomite), followed by a case of the Mondays and then Tuesday.......prepare yourself......you ready?.......this isn't in any way a grammatically correct way to do your sentences...........HIGHLANER: The Animated Series hits DVD.  Complete series for 25....so this means that you should definately forget I'm alive from Tuesday night to about February.

Actually, it will be cut short, because that night I've got Katherine's first Christmas party at the HOG Chapter meeting, and the following Tuesday the 3rd season of LOST hits DVD so I'll be glued to that.  But it will be cut short as well, as that tuesday night I've got my christmas party for the company.  Whats with people planning holiday celebrations on Holy DVD Release dates?  Bastards.

Then....the following tuesday, to end our Triple Tuesday Terror....PROJECT H.Y.D.R.A. is unleashed.

The clues are out there.  A few sharp-eyes denizens have noticed them.  More are coming.  The final one will come on 12.18.07.  Those who find there way to the Hydra's Lair, will bask in its booty.  Those who don't read the signs, or heed the warnings, will be left in the dust faster than a shitty christian apocalyptic thriller.


Love, Later

-Hooper

that although Hercules would best the beast known as the Hydra (with a little assistance), it would be the Hydra's poisonous and deadly blood that would later lead to the death of the great hero.

It's true.  Even in death, the Hydra is the mostly deadly assassin.